Beginning with Wonder

Welcome to the “Begin with Wonder” blog!  Thank you for responding to my personal invitation to join in this experiment, which began as a resolution to write more in 2017.  While I have been writing an awful lot this past year, my writing has been primarily ministry related.  Additionally, I prefer my social media presence to be fairly private, with a few Facebook replies to family members and even fewer status updates.  So, here I am — writing and publishing privately on social media, with the hope that this will make me accountable to this resolution while sharing my thoughts within a small, trusted group. I hope to be able to post at least once a week.  Feel free to read or comment — or not.  

Today, I want to share briefly about the title of the blog, “Begin with Wonder.”

A few years ago, a wise mentor suggested that the best way to respond — rather than to react — to a situation is to “always begin with wonder.”  As I am prone to quickly deciding the “backstory” of situations with which I am presented, and given the backlash that such rapid assessments might cause, I took her advice to heart.  While I have not perfected the skill, my life is better through the practice of responding with, “I wonder. . . .”  So, if I’m presented with a strange situation or behavior, I am usually thinking, “I wonder how/why that is,” or “I wonder why he/she responded in that way.”   After a few seconds, I might say, “I wonder if you could tell me more about that,” or “I wonder if you would consider this,” but that is after the crucial three-second minimum, self-imposed “wonder delay.”

The best thing about wondering is its invitation to open-endedness.  Rather than requiring an immediate answer — as implied by the directness of, “Why did you do that?” or “What is that?” — wondering allows for the possibility of no answer or of  a delayed answer.  While this might seem like a subtle nuance, I have found that it makes a great difference in my encounters with others.

When I speak of “wonder,” what do I mean?

According to Mary Koloroutis and Michael Trout in See Me as a Person (CHCM, 2012), “Wonder is a practice of discovery grounded in curiosity and genuine interest in the other.  The practice of wondering prevents us from drawing conclusions too quickly, which, among other things, can cause us to disconnect with people prematurely.  We may be tempted to chase a quick solution or move to the next task, and in doing so, we may miss important information.”

So, I begin 2017 with wonder.   I wonder what you think of this idea?